i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
