Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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