"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
