3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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