It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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