I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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