Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Terrible idea I love it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
