Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
