She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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