Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
