Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i dont even know how to be here
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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