i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
