He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
