If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
