it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
