I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
