Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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