im six kinds of drunk right now
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
