If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
