her vagine was all disorganized.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize