In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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