On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
