Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
