just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
