Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
