OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
