I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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