In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
