I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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