i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
