I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Randomize
