A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
