It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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