You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
