I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
