but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
