Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
