Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
