Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
