laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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