Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
