i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
