Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
