I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
