i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize