did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
