I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
