so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
