If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
