dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
