i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i barfeds in our rink
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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